August 31, 2015

Talking Shop: Writing About Blowjobs

What terrific erotic story is complete without some sweet oral action?



Now, on a personal level, I prefer muff diving to cock sucking (take that however you like), but that's a play date for another time. Today we'll be waggling our tongues over the art of the blow job: specifically, how to write about it.


First Things to Remember


Writing good erotic content relies quite a lot on sensory detail, and emotional association. When writing about oral sex, it’s important to delve into the pleasurable sensations of giver and receiver, and the mental connection this intimate act can create. Sometimes the mental connection isn’t necessarily deep or even personal—anonymous blowjobs can be deliciously wicked, and a terrific subject for erotic exploration—but it always exists, somehow.




The simplest sensory descriptions most writers go to are touch and sight. In an oral sex situation, however, it’s important to take your descriptions to a more visceral level: smell, tactile sensation, taste, temperature. There’s an emotional attitude about the act as well: gentle, greedy, harsh, submissive, dominating, loving, etc.

There’s motivation to consider. Blow jobs aren’t solely for the pleasure of the receiver. Nor is it necessary for the receiver to be a male or even have a penis. Remember your character can be a trans female or a female wearing a strap-on cock. Scenes between lesbians or in which a male sub is made to suck his mistress’s strap-on contain just as much sexual energy and connection as any scenes involving a flesh-and-blood penis. The eroticism in such exchanges relies even more on the mental and emotional interplay...which can sometimes be even sexier.


Sensory Detail

Try to avoid leaning on sight and simplistic touch. Consider more striking images that will be memorable and remarkable. Scent and taste are among the strongest sensory images you can appeal to.


Taste is something newer writers may not neglect, but may not utilize to the best extent. Often I see attempts to capture taste by appealing to experiences commonly accepted as pleasant. “Sweet” is a very popular one; “salty” is less used and sometimes even considered unpleasant. In my experience, however, the tastes of a blowjob aren’t really sweet, and if they are, it’s a faint sweetness. Cocks aren’t lollipops...at least, outside the ones you buy down at La Romantica. The flavors of the phallus are much more complex.

Some of the writers I most admire use a wider array of descriptors when talking about cocksucking. Here are a few to consider: bitter, bittersweet, earthy, musky, sharp, blunt, brackish, savory. Additional descriptors can be achieved with flavored lubes, but in my personal opinion I prefer more natural reflections when dealing with human skin. If you want to use them, do so, but be sure you don’t do it to avoid good, delicious bodily flavors. Lubes can be a bit more striking when used in the case of sex toys, however; at the same time, consider the flavors of the material of the sex toy. Leather can be clean and crisp, or smooth and buttery, for example.

Smell is another sense writers sometimes neglect or avoid. We’ve come to believe the scents of our bodies are unpleasant and gross, but for many a natural musk is highly enticing. Some excellent scent descriptors are acrid, earthy, clean, crisp, masculine, loamy, sharp, smoky, tempting. It’s good to know a few specific/complex elements in perfumes or other aromatic environmentals, to associate with certain characters. For example, I consistently associate the smell of apples, bonfires, and fall leaves with Ceridwen in Goblin Fires.

Finally, consider tactile sensations such as wetness, slick and slippery or smooth skin; the feel of veins or other imperfections along the flesh being explored. If your character has a scar and their lover runs their tongue over it, it will have its own unique feeling.

So far we’ve discussed descriptions which will primarily be experienced by the giver of the blow job. If you’re writing from the point of view of the receiver, consider where they’ll be experiencing their greatest sensations. Fingers grasping the hair of their partner? Their partner’s lips, the pressure of their mouth and tongue against skin? (Even in scenes with sex toys, mouths and lips and tongues can wander).  If you don’t have a cock or haven’t been on the receiving end of a blowjob, try to imagine the sensation of your partner’s warm, wet mouth wrapped around your shaft. Try sucking on a finger, it might help get you started (though remember, it's not the same thing). Think about the contrast of soft tongue and the back of the throat. Depending on positioning, the receiver of a blowjob might also experience scent and taste (especially if they’re in the 69 position).


Mentality

It’s important to consider the position of your primary POV character. Are you in the head of the giver or receiver? Do they reflect upon their position as the dominant or submissive? Be aware, it’s not a foregone conclusion that the receiver of the blowjob is the dominant partner, or the more experienced. If your giver is in a more dominant position, how is the blow job an act of domination?

In Right Where I Want You, my BDSM “superheroes” story, the giver of the blowjob is well-established as the dominant partner in a power exchange. When she sucks her submissive partner’s cock, she affirms her control over him, her capability to give pleasure, and to mitigate it, and to take it away.


"Mm," Mink murmured, wrapping her lips around the head to lav her tongue over his smarting, overstimulated flesh. The sensation raked through him, raw and red and riotously overwhelming. It made him whimper, helpless with pleasure. The cuffs dug into his straining wrists.

Mink took her mouth off of him, but her fingers slid back to the base of his shaft again. This time she wrapped her whole fist around his girth, closing fingers tight, and delivered a long, drawn-out stroke. Her tongue danced along his crown again to accept more pre-cum as she milked it from him, licking it up, pressing her lips to the darkened flesh as he tried not to cry out.

The giver of the blowjob may also take a more proactive or dominant role without necessarily being in a power exchange: often the giver will find emotional pleasure and stimulation in the act for their own reasons, and may not be primarily aroused by the pleasure they are giving their partner. I find the taste and feel of a cock can be exceptionally pleasant; the tactile shape and yield of the head, contrasting with the rigid length of the shaft, are enjoyable to touch, and appeal to different sensory surfaces—my fingertips or my tongue, for example—in different ways.



If the receiver of the blowjob happens to take a more dominant role, give a thought to what this act means to them. Do they like their partner on their knees, in a strong position of subservience? Or do they enjoy a more relaxed equal footing—perhaps lying in bed together. What do these details convey for them?


Most importantly, what aspects of the blowjob arouse your characters? Sometimes it isn’t the warm, wet mouth, but the opportunity to give or receive pleasure in a more relaxed, lower-impact manner. Sometimes it is most definitely an act of dominance and submission, or sometimes a frantic, hard fuck to scratch an itch.


As usual, I’ve given lots of examples and lots of details to consider when it comes to writing about blowjobs, but that isn’t to imply you must incorporate all these elements into your scene. Often we have to strike a balance with description, and this is where selecting a few powerful, poignant images will serve you well. Strike your readers with something potent and desirable, but don’t overdo it. Consider what fits, and what doesn’t.

Just don’t let this wicked-hot oral action get watered down in limp, forgettable language.

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