September 14, 2015

Talking Shop: Writing About the Pussy



Vulva. Cunt. Pussy. Cleft. These are some of the best words (in my mind) to describe the gorgeousness of a woman’s private parts. And they are gorgeous. Soft and tender, warm and slick, tight and hot...what’s not to love about pussy?




It’s not much surprise that the majority of romance out there is straight male/female pairings, and in these books a lot more attention is paid to the male lead than the female. It makes a certain kind of sense...these books are marketed towards women and most of these women want to fantasize about men. Or at least, that’s the most basic, shallow interpretation of the genre.



But fuck that sense. Women are experiencing a new invigoration in getting familiar with their own bodies and beauty. For romance readers, I think even the straightest and most literal fantasizer can still enjoy a sense of sinking into her heroine’s mind and body, exploring the physical presence of it, the pleasure in her own dips and swells. Finding the pleasure and eroticism in our own bodies is highly underrated in the world of romance novels.


So let’s talk about the pussy.


http://www.daisybones.com/2008/04/yoni.htmlIf you are the proud owner of a pussy, congratulations: your research for this subject is going to be pretty much well-at-hand (har de har har). If you’re not currently in possession of a pussy but you’re still looking for better ways to get to know and describe one in romantic or erotic literature, I’ve included lots of pretty pictures to help you visualize. As you read, try to bring yourself into the headspace of someone with this particular equipment. Physical sensations always vary from person to person, but we can all relate to the basic principles of pleasure in our bodies.


First Off: The Geography of a Pussy


Most of us have a decent biological idea of the female anatomy from our science classes...hopefully. If not, here’s a link to a diagram and explanation to get you started on the basic biological facts. (Very basic, mind you).


But it’s important to know not just where everything is, but how everything feels, and how it interacts with everything else. So allow me to take you on a brief guided tour.




Let’s start with the mons, or “mound”. Generally soft, but the pubic bone lies underneath it. Gentle pressure on the mons can be very pleasurable for some, as it can stimulate the clitoris indirectly, and with a subtler sensation (which for some ladies is absolutely necessary before the clit gets any direct attention).  From a mental standpoint, I personally find touching, cupping, and massaging the mons can be exceptionally, aesthetically erotic, both literally and when writing about it. There’s a lot of anticipation built up around it, perhaps because it’s the most readily visible part of a woman’s sexual organs. However, as stated, the pubic bone lies beneath it so too much or too deep pressure could be painful.


The mons is where pubic hair is located, assuming the character you are writing about has any. While I try to include ladies of all types, I personally prefer ones with neater, clean-shaven pussies, so I rarely deal with descriptions of pubic hair. If you do, though, be aware that it grows along the mons and down on the outside of the labia. Pubic hair is generally coarse and curly, though I find describing it as “soft” and “silky” is excusable, purely for the pleasantness of the image.  Pubic hair also carries a lot of the “scent” of the pussy, so if you have a character diving head first into her silken thatch, describing the scent of it will heighten your imagery greatly. In my personal opinion, the image of a downy pussy with glistening hair (wet from her arousal) is absolutely precious.


Flanking the pussy on either side are the labia majora—in erotica, most easily referred to as “pussy lips”. It is also correct to call them simply “the labia”, but since there are actually two sets of labia, I find “lips” to be the more accurate term for the outer set. Labia majora is often described or presented as plump, and this is biologically sound: they are the thicker outer labia which encloses and protects the inner pussy. In reality, however, the labia majora are not always plump or exceptionally fleshy. This is where knowing body types is important: if your character has very little body fat, her labia majora may not be as prominent.




Inside the outer pussy lips, of course, are the inner pussy lips, or labia minora. These are the ones I first think of when just the word “labia” is used. They’re more delicate and, biologically speaking at least, more sensitive. As with just about everything in life, though, different women will have varying sensitivity levels. In romance and erotica, though, these thin, delicate inner labia are great for detailed sensory description during oral sex. They’re terrific for licking—nibbling might be a bit much—and they very conveniently come together at the apex of the pussy to form the clitoral hood...underneath which, of course, is everybody’s favorite “pink pearl”, the clitoris.


The clitoris is a mixed bag when it comes to sexual stimulation. It’s pretty much without a doubt the most powerful pleasure spot on the pussy, but it is an extremely sensitive spot. This means some women aren’t going to instantly respond to a quick “jump-ahead” to stimulating the clit. This is why things like caressing and massaging the mons and outer labia, gently licking and kissing the inner labia and above the clitoral hood, can be important foreplay.



Let’s stop for a second and ask the question, why would we need to know how these things differ from real-life woman to real-life woman? My character is fictional and I determine how she reacts.


Maybe this is true, but if you’ve read my Talking Shop articles in the past, you know how much I as a writer advocate variety, uniqueness, and originality in erotic romance. You don’t want your characters to read like every other character in romance. You don’t want your current character to read exactly like every other one of your characters before. Diversity brings a freshness and distinctiveness to your writing and evoking little details like these can make it feel more real.



When you start talking about the inner landscape of the pussy, you’re talking about the vagina (this is the proper term for the inner sex, while vulva refers to the outer regions).

Only the first half-inch to full inch of the inner channel is immediately sensitive, and right above and behind the urethral opening is the fabled G-spot (feels a bit like the surface of a walnut, in terms of texture). Further up the channel, pleasure may stem more from pressure than from sensitivity. At the end is the cervix, and this is important: for some women, it can be very uncomfortable for their lover to “hit” the cervix during deeply penetrative sex; for others, the discomfort may occur but may build to a pleasurable release.


The Pleasure of the Pussy

If you’re writing from the POV of the pussy possessor, it’s time to start thinking about how her pussy feels to her, and how she feels about it.





Let’s get beyond describing just what it feels like when your lovely lady is getting her pussy filled by another. Talk about more than the clitoris and the vagina: think about that vulva and the mons, the way her inner and outer labia feel when they’re touched, stroked, or tickled. Think about what her wetness feels like to her. I find there’s more to “being wet” than clinging panties: it makes you more physically aware of your pussy, and it’s got a pleasure to it all its own, not the same as sexual stimulation, but an enjoyable feeling nonetheless. To me, personally, there’s a heightened sense of my feminine sexuality and readiness, which I enjoy.


There are a couple different types of climactic pleasure that can be generated via pussy stimulation. There’s a clitoral orgasm, which tends to feel ‘located’ high and close to the surface, when the clitoris is specifically the center of orgasmic release. This is common with oral sex focusing on the clit, or with toys predominantly stimulating the clit. Remember different women have different pleasure thresholds so some clitorises may be extra ready for climax.  There’s vaginal orgasm, which occurs more ‘internally’.  I’ve most commonly heard this orgasm described as deeper and a little more mellow; where a clitoral orgasm may feel frantic and electric, a vaginal orgasm resonates through more of the body. That doesn’t mean it can’t be mind-blowing, mind you.



There’s also a G-spot orgasm, and this is the one that is commonly credited with the “squirting” phenomenon. Most of the descriptions I’ve heard for this compare it to a sense of having to pee, which builds up into a really intense release. When I describe squirting orgasms in my work, I mentally compare it to a male ejaculatory orgasm.


There’s a smell, of course, associated with the pussy and its arousal. For the love of God please don’t compare it to fish!


You’ll know by now I’m an avid fan of sensory imagery and smell and taste are some of the most evocative senses we have. The smell of a woman’s body is, biologically speaking, meant to be a signal to potential mates. That being the case, the scent should be something pleasant, not ‘fishy’.  Pleasant, however, doesn’t mean that she’ll smell like roses and sugar plums. She might smell natural, which could mean ‘sharp’, ‘musky’, or ‘bold’. You can use ‘aroused’ to describe her smell, since arousal is in part communicated by pheromones and does have a distinct scent. If you feel the natural scent is not fitting for your scene, she can smell ‘clean’, like the soap she’s recently bathed with, or even ‘sweet’ if she’s applied a little lotion or perfume in the general vicinity (keep in mind this should be a subtle sweetness, not one generated by spritzing Sand and Sable directly on her lady bits). Of course, if your scene involves food play, like whipped cream and cherries applied directly to her pussy, you’re talking a whole different set of scents and tastes.


And of course, there’s touch. This may just be me but I think there’s a difference between when a woman touches herself and when another person is doing the touching. In masturbatory scenes, I find a lot more erotic self-awareness involved (that should probably be obvious, right?). In this, I think there’s a lot of wonderful erotic potential. This can be found in solo scenes as well as scenes of mutual masturbation: a personal turn-on of mine are scenes of a woman pleasuring herself while a lover watches. Turn the erotic self-awareness up another notch!


The Beauty of the Pussy

Sometimes I think it’s a little harder for women to naturally think of their pussies as beautiful. While society is definitely moving into a more progressive era of sexual and gender appreciation, there are still lots of us who grew up thinking of our pussies as our “dirty parts”. I had an even weirder hangup: I always thought the word “vagina” sounded like some kind of obnoxious brass instrument, rather than anything at all feminine or beautiful, so I was embarrassed even to say it. (Thank God for “vulva”).



But I also think erotica and erotic romance are the perfect medium in which to re-connect us to the unique feminine loveliness and power of the pussy. This is the arena in which we can freely grow to love our cunts and celebrate them. So that’s why I advocate shucking the idea that it’s not as important to talk about the pussy as it is about the cock. Men and their cocks get a ton of attention. Pussies need more adoration, especially in steamy romance novels of female fantasy. It’s a beautiful, sensual, erotic, feminine, personal, unique characteristic on every woman. So we should give pussies the very, very best attention.


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