In light of the recent release of That Movie, I thought it was a good time to open up the subject of sex-positivity and respect in erotica. If you write, read or otherwise patron the art of erotica, be it in visual or written form, please take a moment to consider the importance of positive, informed, respectful representation of sexual lifestyles and identities.
Let's
talk about how we portray sexuality.
First,
consider this short article on 50 Shades of Grey. Perhaps it recently showed up on your Facebook
or Reddit feed. The author points out what I consider to be very valid
criticism of 50 Shades: the portrayal
of BDSM and D/s relationship is stereotyped, ignorant, and harmful in its
representation. 50 Shades has been
lauded as the book which will bring erotica and BDSM into the mainstream...but
this presents a problem, because what the mainstream is now viewing as great
erotic BDSM is actually damaging to
the BDSM lifestyle and those who already live in it.
Allow
me to point out one thing, though, that
the author of this article doesn't mention, and which I consider without a
doubt to be the biggest sin of 50 Shades.
Christian
Grey's sexual identity is quite emphatically portrayed as the result of sexual abuse, and an
inner demon which must be treated.
Why
E.L. James decided to add this detail to the BDSM dynamic, I will never know. When reading the book, at first I expected it to
be a pathway to Ana discovering this stereotype of kink lifestyle being tied to
early sexual molestation was utterly wrong, and perhaps come
to appreciate Christian's sexuality for simply a part of who he was. Unfortunately, it seems that wasn't the case. Throughout the series Christian's
sexual identity is something Ana must rescue him from, and an obstacle he must
overcome in order to be what she needs and wants.
This
is not sex-positive. Not in the least. My suspicious is that E.L. James, in outrageous, amateur fashion, invoked the grand plot point of ABUSE to create what I like to call "instant drama". It's one of the greatest faux pas a writer can commit, in my mind, and those who do it with impunity plummet in my estimation. The idea is that dropping in these hot-button plot points--rape, molestation, abuse--can't help but draw readers in and stir emotions, sympathy, investment, reaction. It's cheap, easy, and it requires practically no actual skill.
Now, this isn't to say good writers can't explore the actual emotional waters involved with these issues, and do it well. The problem is that too many amateur writers turn to these issues to exploit their inherent emotional complication, without bothering to research or represent them accurately, sensitively, and with respect to their very real significance.
This becomes infinitely more problematic when these thoughtless exploitations of trauma become the building blocks of a sexual identity, as E.L. James has done in 50 Shades.
We
are living in a society which is becoming progressively more aware of the
different sexual lifestyles, orientations and identities that exist. It can be a very maddening struggle to
achieve recognition, though, when the "mainstream" still adopts these
stereotypical views of alternate lifestyles. Consider for a moment that homosexuality was
removed from the DSM almost 30 years ago, but we still hear assertions and see
representations of homosexuality coming as the result of sexual abuse, or an
option exercised by rape victims, or (quite often in the case of lesbians), a
fun, kinky game enjoyed to entice others.
I'm
of the opinion that erotic writers are more than
pornographers. In porn, it's generally acceptable to skip accurate details or
even skip plot entirely, to get to the sex. Whether the sex is gay, group,
BDSM, transsexual, furry, or otherwise, there's not much expectation that the background is going to be thorough or true.
Your audience is pretty much in it for the dirty stuff.
Now,
while readers of erotica may also be in it for the dirty stuff, erotica is a
different medium. Working in narrative involves stimulation of more than the
visual sense and should, if it's good, delve into the minds, emotions and
psychology of its characters (even if only
briefly).
So
if you're going to be writing about characters who have a specific sexual
identity and belong to specific sexual lifestyle, a good writer will do it with consideration to how they portray those
identities.
Consider
a few basic guidelines.
1.
Research. If you yourself are not part of
the lifestyle you are representing, research
it. Talk to people who are involved in it. Find blogs, podcasts, forums,
and read up, listen, watch. Read other erotica on the subject and consider how
it is represented there (don't mimic it,
necessarily, but consider and analyze it).
2.
Immediately reject all temptation
to sensationalize your subject.
Avoid turning somebody's sexual identity into a spectacle. Remember that the people who live this sexual identity are not
oddities. Their needs, passions and desires are not there for the entertainment
of others. This doesn't mean you can't write about them and hope to make the
story erotic, arousing and pleasurable. You must simply keep in mind that their sexual identities are there to celebrate, not
exploit.
3.
Include details about the
"lifestyle" not just the
"act". In 50 Shades of Grey, E.L. James does include details like D/s
contracts, hard and soft limits, etc. Given the longer nature of the story she
did have the opportunity to get into some deeper details (even if she didn't
maintain them). Even in short stories, though, you can find a way to work in
one or two positive specifics to ground the story in truth, and to improve
consciousness of alternative lifestyles. This
is how one increases sex-positive awareness in the mainstream.
4.
Write it because it is part of
who your characters are. Remember that
porn needs plot. Just
like a good erotic story must be more than an excuse to get to a sex act, a
character is more than an excuse to depict a kink. Give your characters more
depth than just what they enjoy in the bedroom.
5.
Don't
use molestation, rape, or mental
illness as a "motivation" for a sexual behavior. Not in erotica. Not
to arouse. This is not only stereotypical and ignorant, it's insulting to
members of the lifestyle you are depicting and
abusive of victims of real violence. By
doing this, you are misrepresenting actual tragedy to provide sexual
stimulation to your readers.
Please note that this
doesn't mean that rape or abuse is
beyond the reach of fictional representation. I've heard it said these should never
be plot points, and I highly disagree. They can make for excellent plot
points and can put characters in a position for great conflict, self-discovery,
growth, and deliverance. But not as an impetus for arousal. Not as an
excuse for "kinky" sexual inclinations. Not as an easy explanation,
because it is not easy in any way.
One
thing I love about erotica is the opportunity to celebrate and highlight the
beauty in sexual diversity. As a good writer, however, I consider it essential
to celebrate that diversity with respect and
knowledge. To do otherwise is exploitation, which is not the mark of a good
writer. Research, respect and thoughtfully represent any lifestyle or community
you hope to write about. Not only is this basic good writing, but
sex-positive inclusion of erotic diversity.
