Embracing Our Erotic Pleasures

Last week, Foreplay and Fangs hosted romance author Kirsten Blacketer, who shared with us her 10 Things Never to Say to A Romance Author. Among these, Kirsten discussed the oft-repeated opinion that “Romance is just porn for women”.
 

This is not an uncommon opinion, but the more important question—brought up to me by a couple of colleagues on Twitter—really should be, “so what if it is?”

Tour Day: Jamieson Wolf and the Smokescreen of Story

Today Foreplay and Fangs welcomes Jamieson Wolf, author of Dancing With the Flame.

Jamieson has been writing since a young age when he realized he could be writing instead of paying attention in school. Since then, he has created many worlds in which to live his fantasies and live out his dreams.

He is a Number One Best Selling Author (He likes to tell people that a lot) and writes in many different genre’s. Jamieson is also an accomplished artist. He works in mixed media, charcoal and pastels. He is also something of an amateur photographer, a poet and graphic designer. 

He currently lives in Ottawa Ontario Canada with his cat, Tula, who is fearless. 

In The Headlines: Newly Discovered Erotic Poems by TS Eliot

Have we stumbled upon Old Possum's Book of Practical Pussy?

Last year, The Guardian reported the release of new poetry by T.S. Eliot, including several erotic poems written for his second wife, Valerie.

T.S. Eliot ranks among the most famous 20^th century poets and literary creators, and in 1948 won of the Nobel Prize in Literature. Known also for literary criticism, essay, and plays, it’s his poetry which makes him an almost household name even today.

Having been first introduced to Eliot’s poetry through his collection of children’s poems, Old Possum’s Book ofPractical Cats, it interested me very much to learn he’d also published erotic poems. While those verses previously released appeared to reflect an unhappy, even dysfunctional sex life many associate with a failed first marriage and several subsequent relationships, the newly-discovered poems written to Valerie seem to spring from a place of sweet—and sexy—romance.

This excerpt from one of the new poems offers a tone of intimacy and connection, while the title of the poem itself—How the Tall Girl and I Play Together—gives it a hint of playfulness. “Play” being a term often used for sexual scene in fetish circles, it also lends a serious note to the theme of the relationship. My sense—from just few these lines and the title, mind you—is that the poem reflects a sexual dynamic both loving and primally sensual. I’m intrigued, and want to read more.

It excites me to know this incredible poet delved into the realm of erotic verse, too. What say you? Have you read any of his poetry, and if so, was it part of his erotic collections? Does the voice in these lines speak to you? Do you think it’s accurate to assess a poet’s actual life and experience based on his poetry?

Talking Shop: Discovering Myself through Erotica

There are a lot of reasons I enjoy writing romance and erotica, not the least of which is sheer enjoyment. I recently realized these genres are the only ones where I find myself capable of writing something actually literary, something more than simple fiction. That’s not to say fiction and genre storytelling aren’t wonderful ways to express one’s writing passions; I prefer a good escapist fantasy over heavy literary tome any day. But I find it fascinating how deeply erotica can reflect subtle truths about the human condition and the people we truly are.

 

One thing erotica has allowed me to do is to fully realize my own sexuality. As a child I understood the hetero-normative view of the world. When I wanted to kiss my female best friends, I knew full well I’d be going against the status quo. I knew never to tell a female friend I loved her without qualifying it as platonic. I understood that I was STRAIGHT, 100%, because I had a boyfriend.

 

In The Headlines: Natalie Dormer on Female Empowerment

This week The Guardian featured a story with Game of Thrones and Hunger Games star Natalie Dormer.

Natalie Dormer. Photograph: Julien Lienard/Getty

In the article, Dormer dishes on the subject of feminine empowerment in popular media. Touching briefly on a past interview, in which her comments on a then-current Game of Thrones plot-line became misconstrued as condoning sex with underage children, Dorner points out the double-standards held against female actresses are put under while male co-stars are understood to be simply "playing a part". 

Looking beyond double-standards, though, Dormer also points out that female empowerment is often generalized and equated with the character's sexuality. A "strong woman" is very often portrayed simply by handing the female a gun, putting her in a skintight catsuit and killer high heels, and giving her a foul-mouthed but still highly flirtatious or sexualized dialogue. After playing several roles as a powerful woman predominantly focused on her sexual relationships, Dormer points out the contrast of playing a woman in a combat zone in military jumpsuits and muddy boots (Cressida in Mockingjay, Part 2). In this role, the character's strength is portrayed in manners not feminized or based on a sexual role. True empowerment, Dormer argues, is not a stylized, hyper-sexualization.

What do you think? Where does real empowerment come from in women in media? Share any examples you consider a good example of an empowered female character, and tell us why, in the comments below.

Talking Shop: Writing the Lady Casanova

If there’s one consistent criticism I get for my fae romance, Goblin Fires, it’s that the main character Reagan “sleeps around”.

Many reviewers feel Reagan’s lusty pursuits (she has three carnal encounters which do not involve her leading lady) undermine her likability as a character, and her devotion to Ceridwen, the woman she loves from afar.

Talking Shop: Writing About Anal Sex

Let’s talk butts.

Anal sex is, let’s be honest, a subject that doesn’t allow for much sense of “romance”, when you first think of it.  It’s very much a staple of erotica more than anything, and outside of M/M romance it still has a sort of taboo to it. It shouldn’t be this way, but at the same time it’s not very hard to understand why.

Talking Shop: Why Write Erotic Romance?

I had a brief flirtation with the “bodice rippers” when I was in junior high and high school, as I think most young women do. I hid a few racy books in the back of my closet, pages dog-eared, and snuck them out late at night to read under the covers. I knew, though, even then, that romance books were “silly”. They were a stereotype of bored housewives and idealistic romantics. They were the very epitome of guilty pleasure.

Even when I started writing my own romance and erotic romance fiction, I distanced myself from it. These were the stories I wrote “for fun”. The ones I’d probably never publish, and maybe not even share with friends. They were a guilty pleasure. Who would take me seriously as an author?

Talking Shop: The Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas

On the corner of Industrial Road and West Desert Inn Road in Las Vegas, behind the Trump International Towers, is the Harry Mohney's Erotic Heritage Museum.

The joint venture of a preacher and a pornographer, the museum is home to a variety of exhibits exploring the intricacies of sexuality in history, culture, and the individual. Inside, visitors find multiple galleries of erotic information: a portion of the upstairs dedicated to erotic artwork; a "Wall of Shame" outlining the history of attacks on the first-amendment rights in relation to "obscenity"; infographics on different facets of contemporary sexual issues like sexting and long-distance relationships; and even a screening of what is believed to be the oldest pornographic film on record: A Free Ride, 1915.

Talking Shop: Sexual Identity and Storytelling

While recently chatting with a friend and sometime beta-reader of mine, I asked him how he felt about the main character, Sadira, in my current work-in-progress, tentatively titled Master Me.

My beta reader kind of shrugged and said he didn't really care for stories of BDSM, and Sadira's character was (to him at least) entirely defined by her involvement in power exchange. He had some of the usual stereotypes about power exchange in mind: why would an "abuse survivor" return to a lifestyle of abuse, for example, and assumptions aplenty that the story was really about the character's "warped mindset". All ideas that I hoped to unravel in the story of Master Me, really. What struck me, though, was his expectation that Sadira's sexual identity was only about what happened in the bedroom.

Talking Shop: Taboo, Bestiality, and "Monster Porn"

So, in case you haven't heard, monster porn is a thing.

 

(I love how this "cavewoman" is wearing
jeans and a designer bikini, but
that's besides the point)

 

From what I've been able to glean, Cum for Bigfoot is one of the most notorious titles, along with T-Rex here. There seems to have been a major surge in the popularity of this brand of erotic story, and while you can imagine they come with a fair amount of criticism, you can't ignore the fact that usually about half the reviews on these stories are, yes, positive! 

Talking Shop: Love in the Time of Erotica

Does erotic romance have to have love wound into it?

Short answer? Yes.

 

If you're a writer (or reader) of romance, you've probably heard by now a breakdown of the differences in "Romance", "Erotic Romance", and "Erotica". ARe Cafe has a short rundown here, but the quick and the dirty of it is:

Romance is a love story.

Erotic Romance is a love story with explicitly sexual description.

Erotica is a sex story. Love need not play a part; the focus is on a sexual journey.

By definition, erotic romance has to include a romantic element (just like my ice tea better have some damn ice in it). Oftentimes, though, when sitting down to write a new erotic romance story--especially if it's a short story or anything less than 20k words--incorporating that sense of true, abiding love, with time to also pursue hot, frisky sex, can make for a bit of a balancing act. If one element of that balancing act wobbles out of time, it can throw off the whole show.

 

Today in our Talking Shop post, let's look at ways to strike that balance without losing our sense of frisky fun.

Talking Shop: Writing Sex-Positive Erotica

Let's talk about how we portray sexuality.

(This post has been slightly edited thanks to some helpful points made in user comments. Thank you, Decadent Kane!)

First, consider this short article on 50 Shades of Grey. Perhaps it recently showed up on your Facebook or Reddit feed. The author points out what I consider to be very valid criticism of 50 Shades: the portrayal of BDSM and D/s relationship is stereotyped, ignorant, and harmful in its representation. 50 Shades has been lauded as the book which will bring erotica and BDSM into the mainstream...but this presents a problem, because what the mainstream is now viewing as great erotic BDSM is actually damaging to the BDSM lifestyle and those who already live in it.

Allow me to point out one thing, though, that the author of this article doesn't mention, and which I consider without a doubt to be the biggest sin of 50 Shades.

Christian Grey's sexual identity is quite emphatically portrayed as the result of sexual abuse, and an inner demon which must be treated.

Orgasm (Hers)

Every touch and every stroke, driving me to heights

Meant just for this, for tangled bodies racing towards their bliss.

On and on, your hunger and my passion climbing.  Tight,

Trembling, quaking, slick and hungry—I yield to your kiss.

I want you deep inside of me, to satisfy desires,

Oblige my need, plunge into me and

Nudge me closer, drive me wild.

It stirs, it sparks, it crests within me, waves upon the sand,

Now increasing, now escaping—God, I feel it there!

My body—arching—welcoming each thrust, yes—deeper—please!

Out of breath, I moan for you, my wordless, thankful prayer.

Taut as you explode in me, each shudder, each release

Inciting me still further, driving quaking passion mad,

Overthrowing senses in crescendoing demand,

Naked pleasure echoing and grand.

(Special thanks to Mae West for this one.

Why?  I have my reasons.)

Orgasm (His Turn)

quick, compulsive rhythm; racing heart, driving homE

my body throbbing heavily; your body writhing; i’M

sliding, slipping, thrusting, touching—deeper, faster—nO.

pause, withdraw, go slowly, drawing out the blissful fighT.

inch by inch exploring your slick depths, your flesh naoI

 working up excitement, pressure, passion. To and frO,

three times fast, than draw it out again, our forms ajoiN

in wet, hot lust; the beating pulse of muscles, moaning,  oI

plunging to the hilt I feel you tighten, tense, and moaN

i’m almost there—a little faster—now I’m at the briM,

i’m deep inside, and with a strangled cry at last let gO.

surrendering to overwhelming rapture, this is iT

thrust again, and still again, I need to fill you, I

am helpless as my body must be satisfied, and O,

i hear you moan for more and more; in your flesh, I resigN

(Special thanks to Mae West for this one.

Why?  I have my reasons.)

---

("naoi": Plural of naos, a temple in Greek architecture)

Tracks In The Snow - Prelim Colors

 

Just preliminary coloring, hence the sloppy outside-the-lines bits.  This is going faster than my usual art... I think I'm getting more used to the tablet and Photoshop.

Illustration - Tracks In The Snow

I wrote a short story this week with intentions of submitting it to Breathless Press for their "Ravished' anthology, featuring shifters.  Since the story is slated for submittal I won't be posting it to the blog right now, but I will give you this tittilating "preview":

Still in its preliminary pencils stage; I'll continue to post as it develops.


This photo, originally posted by TheGucciSlut, served as photoref.

Come to Bed, My Darling

Come to bed, my darling.

There’s room right here in my arms.

Come lay yourself down right beside me,

This place, always safe from all harm.

Whatever is happening elsewhere,

Whatever may weigh on our hearts,

In this room, in this bed, we are sheltered,

Comfort and passion are ours.

Come to bed, my darling,

This place we surrender so much.

Here you have seen every harsh truth in me,

And calmed every fear with your trust.

You’ve known all there is to be known here,

You’ve opened yourself here, in faith.

I’ve cried here, I’ve died here, you’ve loved here and tried here,

Together, serenity’s made.

Come to bed, my darling,

My favorite place in our home.

A place where we’re nothing but lovers,

A place where we’re never alone.

Come lay down here beside me,

Hold me in patient embrace.

Let the world move along then, without us,

I’m happy, content here.  In case

There ever is hardship between us,

I know that we’re safe in our bed.

With your arms around me, your breath at my ear,

There’s no place I’d long for instead.

Come to bed, my darling,

Come love me, and let’s apprehend

Each moment of bliss that is shared here,

My partner, my mate, my lover and friend.