Angel
Raschael's Top Ten Guide
to
Seducing the Clergy
My name is
Raschael. I am of the First Blood of
Demons, the fallen ones. Nowadays we are
commonly referred to as incubi and succubae.
Among my clan, I am employed as a temptress and a spy; great men and
women are often at their most vulnerable when they have allowed themselves to
be seduced. I deal with some degree of
specialty in men and women of the cloth.
So it is with great pride I give you my own Top Ten Guide to Seducing the Clergy.
1. Make Confession – Oh,
the confessional booth. Is there any
place more perfect for whispering deep, dark secrets and salacious little
hints? The confessional provides an
ideal amount of privacy, and best of all, a tailor-made excuse to talk dirty.
2. Seek Faith –
"After hours", shall we say?
Discover a time when the church is likeliest to be empty, and be sure to
drop by... unexpectedly.
3. Offer up Your Heart –
Show him your soft side, your vulnerable side... that shy, innocent, wide-eyed Catholic
schoolgirl side.
4. Ask Forgiveness –.
Make a subtly improper proposition—then, when chastised, very quickly take it
back, and feign immediate chagrin. Oh, shame on you!
5. Where Two (or Three!) Are
Gathered... – There's ample space within a church
where an illicit couple might be alone: the vestry, the balcony, the choir
room. Find excuse to... 'make use' of
them.
6. Sing His Praises
–Be sure to mention often—and in dangerous proximity to the rest of his
flock—how very, very much joy he
brings you. What a good, attentive priest he is... so skilled in the ways of...
worship.
7. Search the Scriptures –
Do you know how many
naughty tales there are in the Bible? Hell, Song of Songs is a whole book
devoted to erotic love. If you don't believe me, ask your priest to explain the
verse, "his fruit is sweet to my taste"... then watch him turn red.
8. Receive Baptism – Think
of the sight of you in that
white robe, all wet, clinging to your curves... all the better if you wear
nude-colored underthings, or if you're very, very devoted, nothing at all.
9. Cast Your Cares Upon The Lord –
And then, cast your clothes upon the floor.
10. Call Upon the Name of God –
over... and over... and over...
Love the post. **Wonders if the clergy are really so easily seduced?**
ReplyDeleteRaschael informs me that you must choose your partners selectively, and it does in fact help if you're a succubus. ;-)
DeleteLove it!! :D
ReplyDelete